Stress has been labelled
the bad guy of recent times, yet we actually need stress in our lives in
order to function. Consider the elastic band... without any stress at
all it is a useless, flaccid object, yet with the right amount of stress it
becomes useful and purposeful. Too much stress and it will break.
Generally how we deal with stress is a mixture of genetics, character traits and what we were shown by our parents, teachers, siblings, and other important care givers, as children.
Generally how we deal with stress is a mixture of genetics, character traits and what we were shown by our parents, teachers, siblings, and other important care givers, as children.
Stress is generally split into 4 groups:
- psychological - how we think about ourselves, other people and the world.
Reality checking (shifting our thought process from stressing to logic) can take some practice. Identifying distorted, or all-or-nothing thinking is a useful way to de-stress by checking the reality of the situation or problem, the significance of the problem and what your options may be.
- emotional - how we feel about ourselves, other people and the world.
Do you feel angry? If so, how do you direct your anger? Inwards? Sideways, at family or friends? Consider responsible ways of directing your anger at the cause. This may be a simple matter of explaining that you feel angry with x because of y. Having your feelings acknowledged can have an almost magical effect of prompting you to released these feelings, and move on.
Do you feel scared? If so, what are you scared of? Are you physically in danger? If not, what is the purpose of your fear?
Do you feel sad? If so, do you have some grieving that you have not allowed yourself to feel? The quickest way through the grieving process is to actually feel sad. Grieving can be a part of any loss. Grieving does not have to mean months of agony - accepting that you feel sad and acknowledging your loss (of youth, a friendship, a pet, a former boss) can enable you to let go and move on.
Do you feel scared? If so, what are you scared of? Are you physically in danger? If not, what is the purpose of your fear?
Do you feel sad? If so, do you have some grieving that you have not allowed yourself to feel? The quickest way through the grieving process is to actually feel sad. Grieving can be a part of any loss. Grieving does not have to mean months of agony - accepting that you feel sad and acknowledging your loss (of youth, a friendship, a pet, a former boss) can enable you to let go and move on.
- physical - the physical symptoms of stress and how your body deals with the demands of life.
Sometimes our bodies can get stuck in a cycle of physical symptoms: pains in the chest, rapid breathing, sweating and feeling sick. Sometimes people may have a panic attack and be so distressed by it that whenever they notice a small symptom of anxiety they may inadvertently trick themselves into thinking they are about to panic, thereby causing the very thing they wish to avoid.
As you may already know, exercise can help relieve stress. If your current exercise routine is not helping, consider including some yoga, tai chi, swimming or equivalent. If you are over exercising, consider treating yourself to a massage or going to a sauna.
- situational - what you deal with in everyday life
Examples of potentially high stress situations include: moving house, the end of a relationship, Christmas, family events such as having a baby, even going on holiday!