See that little person to my right? That is my oldest daughter Chloe. This tiny six year old is such a remarkable person I can’t even stress it enough. She is boisterous, funny, happy, smart, rich in character, sweet, thoughtful, playful, innocent, well read (for a 6 year old), extremely intelligent, cute, polite, and just plain radical. I love raising her. If she weren’t around I would be in a jail somewhere. Or maybe drug binging with a bunch of losers somewhere. Or maybe even fucking dead, as a doornail. I’m a crazy fuck. I live life on the edge, way on the edge. But alas I have my babe. She grounds me. But I like to think I bring a little of my “edge” to our relationship. We’re still breaking into abandoned warehouses together and doing fun things that most people don’t do. But she keeps me in check. She allows me to be responsible. I am entirely and totally 100% accountable for her turning into a level headed grown woman. She looks at me like a motherfucking god. She carefully construes everything I say, everything I do, every move I make, as her own reality. I guarantee if I tell her something, she will take that as an absolute certainty. I have her complete 100% trust. Everything she believes and understands about men and life in general is through me. It’s a HUGE undertaking. And a gigantic responsibility to practically dedicate ? of your life to raising a tiny person into a fantastic adult. And I thrive on it. I love it. As I might have mentioned before, there is nothing more precious than the Daddy/Daughter relationship. I tell her I love her 100 times a day. I hug her more. I kiss her more than that. She has a thousand nicknames, and even more retired ones. We are a team. I don’t want her to get older. But you know, I said that last year and this year is even better than the last. Each passing month goes on and she gets a little taller and a little bigger and understands how to read, write, and comes in tune with her emotions more. She comes in touch more with this planet and realizes life outside of her little bubble. I love her even more every waking moment. With each passing day, each morning waking her up and seeing her smile, it makes me more of a man. This little girl has increased my depth of a person by amounts unsurpassed I could have ever imagined. My babe and me? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you Chloe. Love, Daddy March 23rd, 2009

When I was younger I loved the rain. To me the rain was like something that came and washed all the icky stuff away and made everything seem fresh and clean and new again. Lately the rain has seemed more ominous to me; more like a dark cloud than a silver lining. I've been pretty introspective lately, wishing I'd done XYZ with my life instead of ABC, feeling that I should be further in my career, have accomplished more, like some luminous cloud hanging over my very existence. Last night I spoke to a friend of many years. I asked about how his life was, and his family and all, and he indicated that his life seemed to be going well but he had a friend he was concerned about. She was recently informed that she has incurable cancer. Basically they gave her 5 years before the cancer would overtake her body. She is 34 years old. I'm not sure of all the details and all, but what I do remember from the conversation was this...[paraphrased here] The doctors told her she could have some operations to prolong her life, but she decided she was just going to live it instead Wow, imagine... what would you do, if you knew you only had a few more years to live? Would you do things differently? Scrap your job and go travel the world? Try a new career? Find old friends and family or just leave everything behind? I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation and am so very thankful I don't have to make the choice. It is moments like these that make me realize just how "not so bad" my life really is!! What a reality check huh.