I've been reading Y: The Last Man lately. It is really, really good. I folded an enormous mountain of laundry today. Luke: "If we weren't married I would propose." That is really the best thing he's ever said to me. It made me happier than I was when he actually did propose. We've been having a rough time lately. My confidence, which was low to begin with, has been digging itself into the core of the earth for the past few months. That hurts me and him and our marriage. Somehow, we became two people living together, snapping, and just existing. We had a very heavy conversation, being ABSOLUTELY honest with each other about EVERYTHING we felt and thought last Sunday, and I can't even express how much easier it is to really love each other. We never stopped loving each other, but now we LOVE each other and we know why. You don't stop growing as a couple. "Falling in love" is a process that you decide to start and, if you let it, continue for the rest of your lives. Luke and I have changed a lot since he was 16 and I was 18, and I really believe that we love each other more with every day. We have really grown so close after having that very important conversation, and we are both so much happier. I just can't even explain how amazing our relationship is and how incredibly different it is than it was last week. I always make the mistake of thinking that change takes a long time, but it doesn't. It can be so instantaneous. It is really....just great. I have another interview on Wednesday! Yay. I have been applying for a lot of receptionist jobs. I know it doesn't sound like a very grand career, but it was actually something I always thought about doing. I really like being organized and reliable and helpful. I don't need a career that is exciting or prestigeous. Work is work, and it is just a small part of my life. Sure, I'd love to be in the book publishing industry, but I don't have to be. I can read and be with my family and love my daughter and husband and work so that we can pay bills. That life is fulfilling. I am thinking about maybe somehow going to nursing school one day. I shouldn't regret not doing that. I learned valuable information and lessons in my college career. I have gotten a lot of really important experience because of it, and having a degree benefits me a lot. I also met some really amazing and lovely and wonderful and crucial-to-my-life people because of school, and that is worth it. For now, I'll do what I can and be happy because I can. I'll go close to my mom and make her and my in-laws overflow with happiness because they get to see my wonderful daughter more often. I'll make friends. I'll save money. I'll go to the parks and push Amelia on swings and the merry-go-round. I'll have white walls and a clean floor and a bathroom that is more than 5x4 square feet. I'll have a lot of unnecessary but nice things in my life. Hey, I'll have a Kroger!! And a mall. And I'll be home in West Virginia. I am totally rambling. Luke had to go to work this evening to do some trainings because his trainers are either occupied or out. Anyway. I feel pretty happy and positive about where my life is headed. Oh, I'm stll applying for editorial assistant positions and literary agent positions in NYC, but I'm okay with being a secretary in the city where I grew up. I can ramble all I want, but really all I need to do to get my point across is smile. That's all there is. :) Hi.

The one clear, decent weather day in February Alvin and I planned on hitting the beach for some sunrise shots. Now, sleep is high on my list of hobbies, so sunrise better be good for me to get up waaayyyy early in the morn. After a foggy, icy drive to the beach, I arrived, only to learn Alvin is late because his alarm didn't go off. He arrived shortly thereafter after breaking some traffic laws I think. :-) Well, I set up and started shooting. I had my brand new pair of gloves on because it was about 34 degrees. However, I couldn't operate the controls, so I took right glove off and wedged in on my leg as I squatted down to look through the viewfinder. Well, a big set of waves came in and I had to run for it. Oops, forgot the glove. Kerplunk in the water. I fished it out and threw it next to my bag dripping wet. About 20 minutes later, another huge set came in and I look over to see my bag about to get swallowed by the sea. Stupid me! I ran to rescue it and it only got wet on the outside (thank you Crumpler). I continued shooting and about 20 minutes later my right had was frozen, which made me think of my glove. D'oh! The glove was nowhere to be found because Davy Jones took it out to sea. Argh, I liked those gloves and had only worn them for 10 minutes total. I was reminded of a few things today...be careful of ice, never turn your back on the ocean, and be extra thoughtful when shooting the beach on a rising tide! Spendy little trip, not enough clouds or color in the sky to make it truely memorable. To quote Alvin, "was it worth it"? (I think so)