RHETORICAL EXCHANGE

SAGA I


December 2007 - February 2008
By Aatir Abdul Rauf and Emad Nadim


So , yeah...being on the Fulbright and studying in America is an experience of a lifetime....high standards of living and bullet-fast processes make life easier...but man I still miss the frequent visits to the Khokha...a place where I don't have to research whether the food is Halal or not...and oh the biryani...miss the perfect blend of disproportioned spices, that hidden aloo piece i used to dig and the lovely inconvenience of the cramped aluminium container ! :D

Aloo indeed is quite a fascinating element in nature. While it's presence in the biryani is unforgettable, it's application is anything but limited to food, despite many cultures considering it staple food. But if you would open any elementary science book, you'd realize that potatoes can be used as batteries strong enough to power clocks! Of course, what you wouldn't find in your elementary science, for obvious reasons, is the fact that Vodka is made from aloo too! I am now inspired to write a book titled: Aloo - The Spirit Within..!

Talking about spirits,in particular Christmas spirits, we've got plenty of it in the U.S these days as the Holiday season has reached its apex and everyone's high on Christmas Carols. The streets are painted in red and white, Santa Claus is coming to town and rein deers seem to be more common than the everyday squirrel. Which reminds me, anyone seen the latest cartoon-to-movie production - "Alvin and the Chipmunks" ? History tells us that the dulcet squeaks of the trio had everyone tapping their feet in the 80s and word has it that their animated reincarnation might just flare up the craze again...or might drive everyone 'nuts' , so to speak :P

Cartoon-to-movie productions are always a bit of a gamble though. Consider the greedy lazy fat cat Garfield, Scooby Doo, and Transformers, among countless others. While books have been made into movies for decades, as well as comics, and quite successfully too, I'm quite skeptical about the success rate of cartoons being subjected to the same. Another thing I'm disgruntled about is the way cartoons have systematically deteriorated in entertainment/content value. How do you even start to compare Pink Panther to, say, Cow and Chicken? It's all a shame really how kids today will choose to watch hindi dubbed cartoons and play violent video games instead of cricket or Pithu Gol Garam. I feel old.

And old is gold brother. I think another classic that needs to be mentioned in the revered cartoon list is Tom and Jerry. The fluidity of the storyline, simplicity of the plot and the relentlessly amusing chemistry that the two characters share is something that cannot be emulated with fancy visual gimmicks or the corniest of jokes. Their a testimony to 'actions do speak louder than words' :D But I feel not all Generation-X cartoons are products of bad taste. Like, Johnny Bravo and Dexter's Lab do have the makings of becoming legends in their own way.  And as far as video games are concerned, well, dude I wouldn't blame the public because if corporate giants have rollicking simulation gizmos like the Nintendo Wii to offer, then who needs the real thing ? The Party culture has been re-defined...and technology has just made sure that its on the guest list :D

What that does though, is make me wonder which way the causal link is? I mean, conventional wisdom has always said, 'Need is the mother of invention'. Clearly, though, with such a surge towards product leadership where new products are CREATING markets that don't exist, I guess one needs to revise what our oldies said to us. Another thing you said was about 'chemistry' between two beings. In any relationship how much is 'chemical/organic' vs 'planned/manufactured'? Sure hormones play a role that is pretty animal in nature, but humans must surely have advanced beyond such primitive manners of mating!

From my perspective, conventional wisdom still holds. You see, human nature is such that it is repulsive to the idea of monotony. As they say, sticks may injure you but boredum will kill you. In other words, the 'need' here is novelty and the markets are providing the 'inventions' to fulfill that desire  i.e. provision of products that quench the consumer's undying thirst for something fascinating, something new...something that shuts their materialistic pleas of 'surprise me, will ya?' As for chemistry, I think its best to accept that what makes things click between two beings is spontaneous or could be intricate configurations of 'chemical' and 'manufactured' processes. And frankly I think mating itself (not what leads to it) should be kept 'primitive'. Because as soon as intellect penetrates this domain, then we are sure to see the same egotisitical and exploitative behaviour we are used to in world politics, boy bands and the WWE.

It's funny that the one compelling thought that I have connecting those dots right from 'monotony' to 'need for novelty' to 'chemistry and finally to 'mating' is: The Idea of Monogamy. Now this has to be one of the most disputed phenomenons out there. While some religions and cultures such as Christianity and Hinduism ban it completely, certain primitive societies in Africa practice it both for females and males. Of course, Islam has come under major fire over the years around the topic too. Now, while I find myself in complete understanding of the principles behind the concept, I also find it tough to provide concrete rebuttals to it's contemporary application. I mean of course I don't want to marry multiple women simply to create massive orgies every night, but practically the manner in which this is practiced today is pretty far from the original reason for it. Novelty of new women or religious duty, I can't envision myself having to maintain more than one woman at a time for the rest of my life. The amount of hair on my head is already becoming inversely proportional to the number of women in my life!

Well, the quadrangular marriage is not something that Islam has prescribed as "recommended", you see - its more like if need be , you have the option and you shall not be hung till death over it...and besides its better than having one marriage and three illegitimate nail-biting hair-wrenching affairs ! At least this way your in legal bounds and you don't get any suspicious late night random calls for the wife to interrogate you on :P Besides, the religion really says that if you can't take care of more than one, then don't (being unjust ain't an option). Its like if you ain't man enough to handle a four-wheel drive then stick to your Foxy. Speaking of which, the AirCars are the next best thing in the land of cars !! With a ridiculous fuel economy that will take you from Los Angeles to New York on one air tank, the AirCars are leading the revolution to challenge the monopoly of oil and petrol and natural gas in the energy dimension...finally! something that people can't think of starting wars on - freakin' AIR ! and oohh...with the combustion-free mechanism, cheers to good health too !

Freakin' Air, indeed! When you consider the number of things that are represented by Air, it's an elite list. We've had plenty of moments of realization about its value when utterances such as 'I'm running out of air!!' are made, the value of 'clean' air is explored and everyone wants to be 'On Air' or 'Back on Air' (In case of GEO! :) ). Don't even get me started on Air Pressure, Air conditioners, Air filters, Air fresheners, Air Force, Aircrafts, Air tractors, Air Festivals, Airlines and Air-headed blondes! Furthermore, there's also a number of commodities that materialize and iconize Air itself, such as shoes - for example, Nike ShockAirs. The one particular shoe that stands out though is my all-time favorite: The AirJordans - The ultimate pair of basketball shoes. Now with the advent of AirCars, let's just say - Air is getting ample Air time! Air is all around is they say.. clearly, in more ways than one! Makes me want to fill up a balloon in order to capture this invaluable commodity.

Wooah...guess we need to revise the connotations of the famous pun 'he's full of hot air' :P But if your rather a fan of the solid and sold, then you need to look out for something thats green, blue, red and yellow at the same time. That's right. Google. Sorry, THE GooG. Google pwns ? Yes it does. Now, that Microsoft is digging deep into its "Scrooge" pockets to nab long-time rival Yahoo in an effort to combine forces and 'attempt' to take down the Yokozuna-of-Search (rather Googazuna), the GooG is yawning its wits out, casually sealing a deal with advertising company Double-Click for a mere 3.1 bil. Peanuts. Stroll in the park. But despite all the deifying hype and tech-worship that the GooG has received over the past half-a-decade, I still don't think its the beginning of the end for Microsoft, as many prophesize. You see, Microsoft is ingrained on a molecular scale...in homes with XP/Vista, in offices with Word and Excel, in corporations with Sharepoint, in development with Visual Studio, in entertainment with X box 360 and in creativity  (yes, creativity isn't only a strict synonym of Google..i just checked) with Surface, Popfly and Silverlight. Sure, the GooG is a magic spray that automates imagination, human instinct and "your next move"...but Microsoft is the parasite that has become part of our body now, so much so that losing it might actually be detrimental to health.

Either way, one thing is for sure, Google/MS/and many many other such companies have fundamentally transformed our way of life. Technology today plays such an important factor in our lives that in some ways we are being conditioned to deal with 'change' faster tahn any of our ancestral generations from the dawn of time! And what's more interesting to note is that it's accelerating! Kinda like Global Warming.. When that darned Iceberg starts to melt,the more it melts, the faster it melts further..! Here's a thought though: See, People understand how technology benefits their selfish economic interests.. how it makes the world a better place.. People are starting to only now realize how global warming makes their world worse.. but its still not selfishly or economically driven. If somehow, one was to align the physics behind technology and selfish interests with a 'fight against the greenhouse effect' being also beneficial for selfish individual economic interests, we might go somewhere. We don't need NGOs saying 'hey save the world'. We need people saying 'hey, dammit.. i wanna make more money... lemme cut emissions'. You need incentive structures reshaped, or you'd just end up with gimmicks such as those found in today's headlines: 'Virgin Atlantic is now becoming the first company to run a plane on biofuel. London to Amsterdam'! We need to save this world, not for our kids, but for Us, until then.. we're just going to be running backwards into the dark ages with our 'technological advances'.

Agreed. At times, technology is a treat that seems sweet at first, but leaves a  sour after-taste. Anyways, time beckons. In conclusion, I'd like to end with a wish..."If only imagination could write, we could get rid of articulation”
Signing off - Aatir Atkins.

And it is indeed true that it is not just about the taste, but about the after-taste too. A clear case for how actions are not limited to the incidence at which they occur but have ramifications that ripple through time. The world of tomorrow needs our help today. And a picture is not worth a thousand words since the pen is mightier than the sword. Plop dead. E.

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