Back in the 70’s there were daring men of ACTION. There were beautiful women of ACTION. They rode around in such magnificent cars as the 1975 Ford Torino and they painted huge white stripes on them because they were all about ACTION. Sadly, this driving spirit of ACTION died away…until a few years ago when a racing series was formed that was all about ACTION and old cheap cars. We want to get our own piece of the ACTION. We want to bring the same sense of comradery, fun, daring do, fashion, style and ACTION to the spring Lemons South race that was seen in such classic TV shows as Starsky and Hutch. We want to do that so bad that we want to bring an authentic 1974 Torino, with a 351 Windsor to the race. Bright red, white vector stripe and all. We really, really want to run that car but this is Lemons so we can’t. Cool stuff like that is damn expensive and there is no amount of moonshine that would keep us from getting voted the People’s Curse if we brought that kind of hardware to the race. That’s not the kind of ACTION we want to be part of. What would be the next best thing you ask? What Ford product picked up the baton from the Torino as a midsize two door? What car could we find that was painted red? Damn right! We’re talking about a 1991 Ford Escort. It’s pretty much the same, right? A little paint and no one will know the difference. Toss the drivers and crew into some 70’s garb and you might as well be on the set of Starsky and Hutch. Now a little about the team. We are talking about steely eyed veterans of almost one whole Lemons race last year. We were car #26, racing under the Turkey Fryer Endurance Racing banner at Lemons South 2008. We made it 11 of the 14 hour before the clutch crapped itself. We were running 20th at the time and high hopes of moving up. Regardless of the outcome we had fun. Lots of fun. We want to have more fun. A little about the drivers… Brian - Driver
Brian started his motorsports career working on Formula SAE cars at Georgia Tech. He also spent a little time working at Downing Racing. His most notable motorsports achievement, aside from Lemons South 2008 is surviving a head on collision with a Mustang while riding his motorcycle. He also spent the better part of a day driving Australian V8 Supercars. After Lemons South 2008 Brian was pissed that the car didn't have more dents. Brian spends his work days engineering repairs for airliners. He also likes to make pottery. What good that will do us in the race is anyone’s guess. Mike - Driver / Team Captain
Mike spearheaded the Lemons South 2008 entry that saw the team running as high as 20th prior to mechanical issues. Mike’s other major motorsports achievements include a 3rd place in class in a local Porsche Club Autocross while driving a car other than a Porsche and running four accident free laps of the Nurburgring Nordschleife without wrecking the rental car. Mike spends his days devising repairs for broken commercial airliners. If you think some of the race cars in the Lemons events are suspect, you should check out an airliner after it has been in service for 20 years. Rachel - Driver
Rachel is the only driver who received a black flag from our team during Lemons South 2008. She had an unassisted spin during her first stint and they called her in. She was also in the car during each of the rain periods of that race. She may not be Jackie Stewart around a wet Nurburgring, but she did pretty well. Rachel has been following motorsports for about 15 years. She is an avid F-1 and WRC fan. Rachel’s other big motorsports moments were driving one lap of the Nordschleife, and while she did a great job, she did get to see some geezers wreck a brand new BMW 5 series. She also managed to roll a Subaru Justi while dodging a cat. She got it back on its wheels and drove it for a week or so before friends and family intervened and convinced her that the car was unsafe. She traded it in for $500. Is that an omen? I doubt it. Brent - Driver / Mechanic March 15, 2009 update: It lives. After a clutch transplant the Escort lives again. A brief tour around the neighborhood has proven that nothing was seriously amiss. This is saying something as this was Mike and Brian's first clutch change ever. We had to do unethical things to a borrowed Autozone bearing puller, but we made it work. All we need to do to be race ready now is wire in our kill switch and do some touch up painting. We also got a residual valuation from Jay Lamm on our used Lemons hot rod. It is worth $300. Oddly, this what we paid for the car to begin with. No matter, we sold the original 13" wheels and tires for $135 and some various other interior bits for around $50, so we are still within the rules, even with the clutch change. Race Report
Crashes and mayhem were to be had even before the race started. Due to storms in north Georgia the week before the race Brent’s house suffered damage to his roof. As such, he was out for the weekend. That meant there would only be three of us at the track. We were all drivers. There would be no rest for us. On top of that, while towing our borrowed trailer home to lead the race car Brian rear ended a SUV. The SUV was undamaged, but Brian’s Four Runner suffered a damaged front bumper and hood. Not an great start at all.
Friday morning saw us head for the track. Brian arrived a few minutes before we did and set up shop in the paddock. We shared a space with the Kudzu Kommandos where were running a BMW E30. They were a great group of folks. After we had the RV setup I took the car over to tech inspection. I had been told there cars were 10 deep and it would take forever, but I got there and found there were only a few cars. I got the car through with no problems.
Next was BS tech. Rachel had run to town to get food, so I opted to wait for her to come back before we faced the true crucible of Lemons judging. The pause gave me plenty of time watch other teams going through. There were some good themes. The Kammandos went through with their fancy matching bowling shirts. A Camero came through wrapped in aluminum foil. The crowd favorite was a Mercur that came through in full German livery. The team were also decked out in lederhosen and they were packing beer steins. The clincher for those guys was the bit of German icon they had rigged to pop out at the judges once the hood was opened. The had a 1980s era poster of David Hasselhoff in black tighty-whiteys to draw attention away from any mechanical modifications they made have had hidden. It wasn’t pretty, but the reaction was great.
When Rachel made it back we got in line for BS tech. Now, as mentioned above we went with a Starsky and Hutch theme. Like our Turkey Fryer theme from last year, this sounded better than it turned out. The car looked fine, kind of classy even, but it lacked pizzazz. Even with Brian attempting a hood slide the judges were not buying it. On the plus side we did bribe them with beer and cookies and that got our car labeled as a briber. Of course, when they realized it was an LX they once again pretty much lost interest. We had the same thing happen last year. As the race would show, it is not the size of the engine, but how you use it.
After earning our OK sticker we went back to the paddock and kicked back. We toured the paddock and checked out the rest of the cars. Many of the teams were thrashing away and looking very much like race teams ought to look. Why so many were working on their cars I will never understand. What is there that really needs to be done on a Lemons car the night before the race? Can you really fix things at that point? You can’t polish a turd at that late stage. We took the time to chat, eat some burgers and drink a couple of beers.
Race day saw me out of bed before everyone else so I decided to walk the track as the sun came up. It was a good time to be out there. On my second lap I hooked up with one of the Schumacher Taxi Service guys and we chatted about our cars, the race and the fact that there was no chicane on the front stretch to slow things down. The placement of the tires at the outside of turn 1 made me a bit nervous as brake failure could turn out to be a painful proposition. I had heard rumor that the chicane was eliminated due to a mid 1970s Ford LTD that had entered and the organizers were afraid of the thing getting jammed in there during the race. I never confirmed that rumor, but it sounded good to me.
About an hour before the race we had the driver’s meeting. Jay Lamm once again made his firm point that this type of racing is not a contact sport and anyone involved in metal to metal contact, regardless if you were to blame or not would face a black flag and time with the judges. He also explained that we would be able to use the actual pit road. Several of us wondered how that would work with 95 cars and only 14 stalls. After that the basic track rules were explained, questions were answered and we were excused to go get into our race cars.
I (Mike) was the first to drive so I made my preparations (take a leak, eat a cookie and have a drink of water) and hopped in the car. The Escort fired right up and I headed off to the grid. Like last year we were set loose on the track for a number of pace laps. Unlike last year, I knew to keep a close eye on the starter stand looking for the green flag. Green was thrown as I was going into the last turn and I got a good jump. I think I passed 3 or 4 cars prior to hitting the start finish line.
We planned to race the first few hours at 1 hour in the car and then pit under the next yellow. Yellow came for me shortly after the end of that first hour and I handed the car off to Brian. I had a clean run and I had nothing to report about the car. Brian got in and also had a fairly uneventful hour. It must be said that we came into this race with a plan. Unlike last year we had a plan. Our idea was to only pit for driver’s under yellow, to stay out of the penalty box and avoid damage to the car at all costs. We were also going to keep the car fueled as we suffered from fuel starvation issues in the previous race. Pretty simple plan.
Next up was Rachel. She was having a solid run until she had contact with the #25 BMW. AS mentioned above, it doesn’t matter of you were hit or were the one doing the hitting. You had to come in. Rachel honored the black flag and the judge gave her 10 minutes and we were required to do a driver’s change. The #25 on the other had tried, in the judges opinion, some shenanigans to avoid the penalty box. They ended up parked for an hour. Ouch.
I got back in and started a 1.5 hour stint. I had some good racing with the Taj Escort Service and a few other cars. All the while I was avoiding the rolling chicanes that were the LTD, an Alfa and a pickup truck. Things were going smooth until I notice the car hesitating coming out of the corners. I feared it was the old fuel starvation problem coming back to haunt us. I tried to signal the pits to let them know what the problem was, but we omitted a hand gesture for out of gas. Dumb on our part. We had planned on fueling the car after my turn, not during my turn. As I rolled into the pits the car ran out of fuel. It was a mad dash to the paddock for our fuel tanks. We got a bit amped up, maybe a little testy, but we executed our drivers change, fueled the beast and sent Brian on his way.
Brian’s run was smooth and clean. He was driving smart and not pushing things too hard, but he was also keeping his speed up. He did find the brake peddle was getting a bit mushy. We were moving up the standings were in the mid teens by late afternoon. Rachel got back in the car around 1:30. The plan, as always to pit after an hour or so under yellow. Well, oddly enough for a Lemons race, there were no cautions for about two hours. Rachel pounded around all that time with brakes that were getting worse and worse. She did good. Once we finally did get a caution I got in the car to finish the day.
My stint was pretty fun. Not only did the setting sun make visibility interesting it gave everything a nice ambiance. The racing was good too! I had a good duel with the #77 RX7. I actually ended up with a donut on the side of the car from them. I view it as a badge of honor. The LooseStool Jetta and I raced so close we actually hooked mirrors, but didn’t rip them off. It was pretty crazy. The brakes were manageable if I pumped them going into the turns. I made it to the end of the day with a running, only slightly bent race car. We ended the day in 9th. Top 10 with an Escort LX. No kidding
We got back to the pits, had some lasagna and beer as the car cooled and bled the brakes. We toured the pits and checked out the carnage and there was much to be had. Lots of bent metal and more than a few leaks. We ended up chatting with the Kammandos until about midnight and went to bed. When we got up we found out our battery had drained. We plugged into the charger and hoped for the best. Brian called Brent and was told that when they built the Panoz LMP car they moved the battery and had charging issues. Turns out we had the same problem.
The organizers decided to try something new at the start of day 2. Usually all the cars take the track in whatever order they get there. This year they decided to allow the top 10 to take a pregrid on pit lane and to start as a group. It was a great photo op, offered the potential of some good racing and was just too cool for us. Luckily, we got enough charge into the car to get it started and onto the track, but Rachel was under order to run into town to get a new battery, just in case the charging system wasn’t at fault. We started clean and Rachel headed out. You can see us at the start of day 2 here http://jalopnik.com/5199132/racers-revving-up-for-more-24-hours-of-lemons-action-in-south-carolina
Rachel was scheduled to drive after Brian, but we planned on running Brian the full two hours until the midmorning church and People’s Curse break. Best laid plans and all that. About an hour into his stint Brian had an incident with another car and spun in turn 1. The car lost fire and he was unable to get it started. We caused a full course yellow. They towed the car to penalty box to once a gain face the judges. The car that hit Brian pleaded to have us released, but the Judge insisted that we write “I hate hitting Stuff” on the top of the car 50 times. He did say we could have all the driver’s help. Well, we only have three drivers and one of them was off buying a new battery. In an act that we appreciated greatly, the guys who hit Brian helped us by writing with us on the car. We were out in a few minutes. As we had to change drivers due to our time in the box, and since Rachel wasn’t back, I hopped in the car for 45 minutes until the break.
When I was in the car I notice that the car’s handling was decidedly more twitchy at the rear than ever before. It was pretty diabolical, but also good fun to drive. Once the break hit we inspected the car for impact damage from Brian’s incident and we found the passenger’s side tire had been toed out about 5 degrees. Luckily, we were able to adjust the trailing arm to compensate it during the break. Brian did a great job with the fix with the help of the Kommando’s. Rachel was able to video te curse, but I haven’t seen it yet. I did watch about a minute of the carnage though. The Mustang that was crunched was in very rough shape.
After the break Brian got back in the car. Shortly after the start of his stint the race was halted due to a fire on the back stretch. Sadly, the Kommandos’ BMW went up in flames due to a repair they had done the night before. Their exhaust had been damaged due to contact Saturday evening and they opted to trim it and bend it to the side. They failed to account for fuel line that ran right in the area. The car went up big and the fuel tank blew up TV style. One of the judges said it was the biggest fire he had seen at a Lemons race. Luckily, no one was hurt. Once the race restated Brain was running strong until an altercation involving the Tuna Chucker’s Volvo Amazon and the SR-71 Miata happened right in front of him. He avoided the accident, but had to back onto the track. One of the course marshals thought he hit the Volvo and Brian was brought in again. We were the only ones called in, but we were only held for a few minutes. Rachel got in the car for her final stint. Once again, she was fast smooth and clean.
With an hour and a half in the car we had an opportune yellow. Rachel got out and I got in for the final two hours of the race. I was told that I was 7 laps behind the Taj guys and 5 laps in front of the next car back, so I was looking to maintain our 14th position. That is what I tried to do. The car was running good, but the tires were shot. Bad shot. No grip shot. After about an hour in the eat I started noticing smoke out the back of the car. A lot of cars smoke so I wasn’t super worried. OK, I was a little concerned, but I figured we could make it home. Shortly after that there was a BIG cloud of smoke out the back of the car and the steering went all funny. I pitted for a brief tire check and was told we were ok. After a few more minutes on the track I realized we had lost the power steering and the odd feeling was due to the suspension loading and unloading. After figuring that out I knew we were ok.
The last hour passed without incident for us. There was some dumbness on the track as people went a bit nuts in the closing minutes but as 4 O’clock drew near I started to watch the flag stand. Soon enough I saw the checkers waving. It was a pretty good feeling to actually make it to the end. The Escort survived intact and ready to race again, we all got good seat time and we had lots of fun. And we did all that with only three people at the track. Not too bad.
The folks who make it all happen: http://www.24hoursoflemons.com/ Jalopnik's Race Coverage: http://jalopnik.com/tag/24-hours-of-lemons-south/ Our 2008 Lemons South Site: http://sites.google.com/site/turkey-fryer-endurance-racing---lemons-2008/Home Contact: michael.rennick@gmail.com |
