I really thought that I'd be able to "throw this" together pretty quick but MAN was that a PIPE DREAM. So its not very well done... AT ALL... and someday I'll do it the right way but I still think it gets the point across. Secret #2 I've struggled for a long time to "find my place" in life. I am a complete tomboy. I love autorcrossing, having a bad ass car to drive, change my own oil and can put my spare on my car in less than 15 minutes. And I'm a total geek. I've been going to LAN parties full of smelly boys since I was a teenager and actually lied to my girlfriends about where I was going to avoid the comments. I still play MMORPG's but FPS's will always be my first love. I usually code my own websites and am a complete photography and Photoshop geek. But I'm also a shoe-aholic. Those brown Steve Madden shoes are at least 10 years old and that bag of MAC is from last weekend. I'm a closet girly girl. The problem is that I've never been welcomed completely by any group. The girly girls get very pissy about the fact that I can hold my own in my car and don't have any problem talking "shop" with the boys. Even though it's never been about getting attention, that's the card they always throw out there. And the boys can't ever seem to fully look past the boobs. And the geeks don't get the makeup, shoes and car talk. I'm not sure I'll ever fit into any mold and I think it's stupid that people can't look past one aspect to fully embrace the other. The only person that's ever looked at and loved and valued every different aspect is Ben. He gives me hope that someday more people will follow his lead.

When Uncle Jim passed away in 1984, his death marked what had been a psuedo relationship between his daughter and me. The last time I saw Betty was at Uncle Jim's funeral. She did, however, send my daughter, about 12 at the time, a postcard telling her how much she and her husband were enjoying their trip. Death often reveals the truth about how important money really is to some individuals. Betty's husband delivered a trunk load of rusty tools to our home and told me that was my inheritance. I thanked him and sorted through the wrenches until I found one with a Milwaukee logo. No, I did not inherit so much as a brass button off of his old railroad uniforms. Life is full of surprises, but as one ages, one finds that nothing really surprises one any longer.