saw this old man while looking out the window in my apartment. he was carrying a bag... a bag that looked heavy... too heavy. i ran downstairs and out to the sidewalk where he was... he turned when he heard my footsteps. "can i help you with that?" i asked him. he smiled and shook his head. "oh no... i'm the only one who can carry this." he said to me. "you sure... it looks heavy?" i told him. "it is heavy... no doubt about that." he replied. "what's in it... if you don't mind me asking?" "you really wanna know." he said. i thought about it for a second... maybe he was right... maybe i didn't need to know. to hell with it, i thought. "sure. what's in the bag?" he walked over to a bench and sat down. he motioned for me to do the same. i walked over and sat down next to him. i stared at the bag when he began to speak. "i'm filling this bag up with all the sadness in the city." he said. "every last bit of it." he stared off into the distance after he said this, focusing on something that seemed to be steadying him. "all the sadness in the city?" i asked him. "every last bit of it." he repeated without breaking his focus on whatever it was he looking at. he turned to me. "got anything you wanna put in it?" he asked. i thought about it. "yeah... i do, actually." "what?" he asked. i ran up to the apartment and gathered everything i could think of... i looked out the window before going back down, to make sure he was still sitting out there. he turned when he heard me... and watched me walk over and sit back down next to him. he looked at the things i had in my hands with a curious expression. "what do you have there?" he asked. "got these postcards," i told him, "postcards that she sent me while she was away... all these plans and promises are in them... that never took place." he took the cards from me and looked at some of the places they had been sent from. "got this mug, too... would keep it in the freezer for her... she liked having a beer whenever she came over... just hate opening the cooler and seeing it there." he took the mug from me, and put it, along with the postcards, into the bag. "also have this box of band-aids." "what's the story behind these?" he asked while i handed them to him. "the first time i kissed her... we had gone up to the roof of a friend's apartment building... on the way down, she slipped and scratched her knee... i ran to the store and got her these band-aids... they remind me of that first kiss every time i open the cabinet in the bathroom." he shook his head and sighed as he put them in the bag. "got anything else?" he asked. "that's it for now, I think... the other things i'll just have to hide from myself." he put his hand on my shoulder and laughed a little. we sat there for a moment and watched the cars and people pass by. "what will you do with all those things?" i asked him. "you really wanna know?" i smiled and said yes. he let go of the bag and took a more relaxed posture. "i grew up in this house," he said. "and many terrible things happened in it. i won't go into the details... but there was a lot of suffering in that house... a lot of bad memories. and when i left to go to school... i took all those things with me. and after graduating, i got a job and worked real hard... saved everything i made... saved every last dime... so i could buy a house i'd never live in. "i don't understand." i told him. he continued. "i went and bought the house i grew up in... for the pleasure of being able to bring it down... i suppose i wanted to make sure that no one else would have to be confined to such a structure." "that bad a place, eh?" he nodded his head with glossy eyes... then finished the story. "didn't know what to do with it after i took it down... just a big pile of dirt with a chain link fence all around it. i'd go there every now and then, hoping it would come to me while staring at it..." "hoping what would come to you?" i asked him. "what to do with it... the land, that is... and this went on for tens of years... it went on until the most wonderful thing took place." "what happened?" "amidst all that dirt i would go and stare at for all those years... were these little yellow flowers." tears were running down his face at this point. i put my hand on his shoulder. he looked over at me and smiled... swallowed with a great effort... then pulled a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and began wiping his eyes and nose. he took a deep breath before speaking. "so i took the fence down... and i leveled everything off and started growing more flowers, and plants, and trees, and herbs, and even vegetables... anything

From the freezer where everything goes to die... see notes ...it is pathetic