How to answer a Family and Relationships question in Yahoo Answers

Looking for a question - things to think about;

• You need to ensure they are questions submitted to Yahoo! Answer UK & Ireland (as opposed to anywhere in the world).
• It's important that you select a question that will be open for at least another 48 hours after you answer it (so that someone else has time to look at your answer). There is a line under the question heading that tells you how many days you have left to answer. It needs to be at least two. Have a look at this screenshot which shows you things to look out for.
• It's preferable to answer questions from users who fit our target age group (16-25 year olds). However, it's not necessarily clear what age users asking questions on Yahoo! Answers are so this is just something to keep an eye out for if you can.
• It's worth looking for questions that seek specific advice or information, as opposed to others opinions. Some questions on Yahoo! Answers are looking for opinions from other users. For example a question like ‘Girls –how would you feel if a guy did this to you..?’ is looking for individual opinion. It's probably better to avoid these kinds of questions as we are trying to give impartial advice rather than opinion.
• Some questions can be linked to articles on TheSite.org very easily. These are good ones to answer. As you become more familiar with the Sex and Relationships section of TheSite.org it will be easier to spot these questions.

Preparation

• It is easiest to copy the question into a text editor such as Word and write your answer in there.
• Have a look at the question and try to identify any feelings that the user is experiencing. It can be helpful to highlight these in the text.
• Search for the issues on TheSite.org to bring up any articles that may be useful. Reading these through can also help give you some ideas about what to suggest. 
• The best way to search TheSite.org is to use the Google Advanced Search to do so. Put the words you are looking for in the top search field and 'TheSite.org' in the bottom field where it says 'Search within a site or domain'. For example searching for ‘cheating’ in Google Advanced Search will bring up articles on ‘Spotting a cheat’ and ‘Why were they unfaithful?’ as well as content from the boards and archived question. Copy any of these links that you think might be helpful into the word document so they are available for you to put into your answer.
• Think about a couple of options that may be suitable for the user and write notes on these. Often, what we are trying to do is suggest different ways that the user can think about the problem, give them different options for action to think about and reassure them that whatever they are feeling is understandable . We are not trying to give definite solutions to their problems. With relationship questions, usually the solution is something that they need to work out for themselves, but we can give them new ways of thinking about the problem and suggest options they may not have thought about

• Remember that we are looking for short answers – around 250 words long – 3-4 short paragraphs maximum.
• Be careful with the language you use. Do not use I, try and write in the third person. For example, instead of writing ‘I think that you should…..’ you could write ‘It might be a good idea to’.
• It is also important not to use language that sounds like you are telling people what to do.  For example instead of saying ‘You should do….’, it is better to write ‘You might find it useful to try…’ or ‘Have you thought about….?’. It can sometimes be helpful to read over your answer afterwards and make sure that you change any language that sounds like you are giving directions to language that sounds like you are making suggestions.
• Start with some acknowledgement of the users feelings. Examples of ways to phrase this can be ‘It sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment…’ or ‘From what you’ve said about…. it sounds like you are finding things hard right now’.
• Next, think about giving the user some reassurance that the situation they are feeling is understandable. For example if someone is asking a question about struggling to find a girlfriend, it would be a good idea to say something like ‘It is important to remember that, despite what we are led to believe in the media, many people do not have their first serious relationship until…..’. Another way of giving good reassurance is to compliment the user – for example ‘It is great that you have found the strength to ask about this’.
• The next one or two paragraphs should suggest the options that you have identified for the user. Make sure that these are suggestions rather than directions and try and encourage the user to think about what might be best for them. Try and include some suggestions for links to TheSite.org.

An example question and answer

What do you do if you don’t feel the same way about someone as they feel about you?

A guy I know likes me but I only like him as a friend. I’m worried about telling him the truth as I don’t want to hurt his feelings – what should I do?

Answer

Hello,
It sounds like you're a really caring person who is keen to do the right thing, so you've done well to ask a question about this situation. (Reassurance and a compliment)

It can be quite heartbreaking when someone fancies you and you just don't feel the same way, and as you say it's difficult knowing you might hurt the person's feelings. (Acknowledgement of user’s feelings).But it sounds like you've hit the nail on the head by wanting to tell him the truth (more reassurance). That will allow him the space to get over his feelings for you and move on to find someone who might be interested in going out with him. (It’s good to explain how different options can help them).

You haven't given that much detail (don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know enough information) so it's unclear whether or not this guy has approached you himself, or whether it's just hearsay that he's into you. If the former is the case then you might find it helps (good example of suggesting rather than telling user what to do) to think about ways that you can be honest without being personal - let him know he has great qualities, but that you just don't feel any chemistry. If you would definitely like to remain friends with him, then he may well appreciate hearing that too.

Finally, it's good to be clear about how you feel in your own head to avoid false leading - such as saying "I don't know you well enough to date you" when actually you might know deep down that this guy will never be boyfriend material.

(Suggestions for options of ways to approach the issue)

If your belief is based more on suspicion and the way he's acting rather than him actually coming right out with it, you may want to take a softer approach as described in TheSite.org's article on how to reject someone article. (Link to TheSite.org article)

Take care and good luck!

Source(s):

http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationshi...

 Now you’ve written your answer…

• Thank you! The next step is to paste it into the form on this link and submit it to us. Your answer will be checked over before it goes out. Be sure to check back into Yahoo Answers to see users responses to your answer and whether they have voted you best answer. If you would like feedback on your answer please send an email to clare.foster@youthnet.org including the question and your answer in the email. Thanks again!