About Our Youth

The Fillmore/Piru program focuses on middle and high school age youth, ages 11 to 18. We do match younger youth, but most of the youth who request a mentor are in the older range.

All youth, ages 11-18 have come to us to ask for a mentor. Perhaps they were referred by a counselor, friend, teacher, parent, administrator, but THE YOUTH has to want to be in the program. They have to fill out an applicaiton, have an interview, fill out an interest summary, and they receive ongoing training to help them learn how to converse, how to share their feelings, social skills. Even if they have done all of this, they sometimes feel awkward, selfconscious, or inadequate.

It is up to YOU, the mentor, to carry the weight of the meetings, help the youth feel comfortable, encourage and persevere in getting together; even when the youth is busy, tired, overwhelmed, doesn't know what to say.

Mentor Expectations

The greatest expectation is consistency, perseverance and the interest to be a caring person in the life of a youth! You will be matched with a youth who has many adults fail him/her and who desperately needs you to "be there for her/him". You need to find about an hour a week, or more if you choose, to meet with the youth; listen, share ideas, encourage. You can go for a walk on the beach or the riverbed, watch a movie or go for a soda! Many of the youth have had limited experiences and a trip to a museum, an art show, a concert or a bookstore are special events for them. But the most important expectation of a mentor is for you to regularly and tenaciously contact your mentee to simply listen and show that you care.

This is a big commitment, not in time, but in caring. Research has shown that those youth who have had a mentor for more than six months start to change their negative habits. On the other hand, those youth who have a mentor and the mentor quits are worse than they were before they had a mentor! We ask that you commit to continuing with your youth until she/he graduates from high school.

Can you ever go on vacation? What if you're retired and you want to take a two month vacation? No problem! Youth are very understanding. If you go on a vacation, even an extended one, just let your mentee know and send a post card or call occasionally. They'll love hearing about your trip and seeing the maps about where you've gone.

What if your life changes and you move? Youth also understand this. If you have established a good relationship with your mentee and he/she knows that you're moving ahead of time and that you'll keep her/him in your thoughts, but that you'll be unable to continue to meet with her/him regularly, we will close the match with a celebration of the good times you've had together. Many matches stay in contact many years after the match is officially closed.

The First Meeting

The first meeting can be a very special time! One of the mentors, after having met her mentee for the first time, remarked that she felt almost as if she had just given birth to a new child, but without all of the pain!

The first time that the mentor meets the mentee is pretty structured. The match support specialist will call you to arrange a time that is agreeable to both you and your mentee. Most of the time you will meet first at Rm 10 at Fillmore High School. The mentee will be waiting and will have the interviews ready. The mentee interviews the mentor and then the mentor interviews the mentee. The questions aren't that important. You can change them or delete some. The most important part is to get the conversation going. We will also give you some free or reduced coupons for special activities that you and your mentee can do together. Then you'll give the mentee a ride home and meet the parents, if they are available. It is important to meet the mentee's parents some time in the first few meetings so that they can feel comfortable knowing the person with whom their child is spending time.

The meeting is arranged very differently for younger youth, but for middle and high school youth it seems that having the youth meet the mentor before the parents do and having the youth in charge of the first meeting gets it off to a good start!

Your Activities

Each match decides their own activities and each is completely different. As a part of the pre-matching applications, the parents have signed that the youth has their permission to go with you. At your first match meeting you will be given a medical authorization in case of emergency. You now are prepared to have fun, go where you want and do what you'd like. Some matches stay close to home for most of their get togethers; Joanna's Icecream, pool hall, library, or a local restaurant. Some go for walks in the riverbed, hike in the Sespe hills or just make cookies, repair computers or play video games at home. Some matches go to the gym, Curves or take kick boxing together. All of this can be done in Fillmore. Some examples locally that matches have done:

• Carmen met Jessica once a week at Fillmore Library, had her come to her home to learn how to crochet.
• Armando and Miguel go to the DoJo on highway 126 for kickboxing classes together.
• Tilli and Lisa met regularly at Joanna's Icecream shop by the railroad.
• Lynn picks up Elda 10 minutes early for lunch and they go to local restaurants to chat.

For more adventurous matches, you can go to Ventura to the beach, to Santa Barbara for kayaking, to the Channel Islands, to museums, missions, or just to lunch or dinner in Los Angeles, Ventura, Santa Barbara or anywhere!! Some examples of more adventurous trips that matches have done:

• Kathy and Laura went on a four day trip to see colleges throughout the state.
• Lynn, Carmen and Lupe went to Santa Cruz Island for a hike.
• Amelia and her mentees went to Los Padres for a hike to the water falls and swimming holes on Tar Creek.
• Jim and Eric meet weekly and go to the YMCA (where they will give free memberships to BBBSVC littles if the big is a member) in Ventura to swim and exercise.
• If you plan on staying overnight please inform your match support person.

You and your mentee's activities are only limited by your imagination. ENJOY!

Application Process

The applicant will fill out an application, sit down for an interview with a case manager or match support specialist, give background and reference information for checks and have the department of motor vehicles check. When all of those items (and it's not as bad as it sounds) are approved, we look for a youth to be matched with you.

A part of the interview and the application is to find out your interests and what type of youth you'd like to mentor: age, abilities, interests, personality, background. When we have a youth who fits your general description, someone will call you to give you a summary of the youth and see if you agree that this is a youth with whom you'd like to be matched.