Work in Progress 25th March
Developing Essays in this lesson is about 'THINKING': 'What do other people see and think when they read what I have written?'
Did I describe something accurately?
Did I provide any background to what I was writing?
Did I mention where this event took place?
Did I mention Who I went with? or Why I went?
What we will do
We are composing simple descriptive essays and looking at HOW PEOPLE SEE IT and what questions they will ask. Did we think about how people read and understand what we write.
Develop your writing skills by examining what you write.
Are there questions left unanswered?
Did you provide enough information?
We have three topics to Choose From:
Public Bathhouse
Movie Theatre
Public Parks
Choose a topic and quickly do up an outline created from various key words that you thought of when you chose your topic.
Then quickly write your essay.
Then take your time to go back and question everything you wrote and DID NOT WRITE.
What is left out?
What was not necessary to include?
We will now list all the points that various students came up with in their essays:
My family and I
National Day
To relax
disney park 07-1
Bathhouse
Bathhouses are the universal phenomenon in China, they spread all over the cities and towns, Especially when the weather gets colder, bathhouses play an indispensable role in people's daily life. Admittedly, bathhouses make things more convenient for people to do their personal cleaning.
Bathhouses are the universal phenomenon in China, ... Is this a true statement? What do you mean by it?
they spread all over the cities and towns, .... this sounds like a bathhouse is an infection or a cold or a worm that moves......... THEY ARE SPREAD ALL OVER not - 'they spread all over'
cities and towns, Especially ...... Comma should not be followed by a Capital letter unless the word is a noun??????? or is this a new sentence and it is not a comma but a 'period / full stop'.
Especially when the weather gets colder, bathhouses play an indispensable role in people's daily life. .... Indispensible = cannot do without! .... but many people have a bathroom at home and wash there. They have never been to a public bathhouse and so the public bathhouse cannot be said to be indispensible EXCEPT TO SOME PEOPLE..
bathhouses play an indispensable role in MANY people's daily life.
Admittedly, bathhouses make things more convenient for people to do their personal cleaning. Same as above - it makes it more convenient for people who have no bathroom or hot water 'on tap'.
07-1 Parks
As we all know, parks are the best places where many parents take their children here and enjoy themselves. The scenery is beautiful all around the year and there are also many interesting activities.
When I was a child, my parents alway take me to the park at weekend. We fliew kites in spring, swimming in summer, enjoyed the leaves on earth in autumn and played snow in winter. So I can say that the park often recalls my happy childhood. As I grow up, the t imes I go to the park are fewer and fewer.
In China, parks are the best places for parents to take their children to enjoy themselves. The scenery is beautiful all year round and there are also many interesting activities.
When I was a child, my parents always took me to the park on weekends. We flew kites in Spring, went swimming in Summer, enjoyed the leaves on the earth in Autumn and played in the snow in winter. So I can say that I often recall my happy childhood in parks. As I grow older, I visit parks less frequently.
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