As a matter of fact, it’s not only me who is in the spotlight here. You are. Given that you have at least once commented on someone’s blog (not to mention writing your own), joined a social network (Facebook, Friendster, Xing, LinkedIn… the list is endless), had your picture taken with a digital camera (and shared online) or even mentioned by someone out there you have become a story. Though we can set a Google Alert on our name (and it’s advisable!) it’s no longer in our power to control what people tell about us online, intentionally or unintentionally. Wouldn’t it be great to have at least your say?

1.1.1 Each person is a story

Even without internet you would be a story. Believe it or not there are people who talk about you because you are a character in their story. The way they write their stories is also out of your control. But you can have an effect on what is written about you and for sure it’s you who decides how your story goes.

1.1.2 You are the author of your own story

Now, if you really are the author of your story, do you realize what you have written so far? And do you know why you wrote what you did? Some of us drift through life under the assumption that there’s hardly anything we can do to change the course of our tomorrow’s history. That anything that happens is due to fate or at least some external influence out of our reach. If you belong to the latter part of our 6+ billion-population that has decided to defy fate and take control of your own destiny you can straighten your hand, twist it over your shoulder, tap yourself on the back and praise “Good job!”

Even if you were not a drifter but the author of your life story it might be that you are happily unaware of what you have written so far or at least why you wrote those certain chapters. Had enough of metaphors already? In plain English: Even if you were in control of your life you might not know why you have made certain decisions in your life. Values. We all have them, but we might not be aware of them. They guide our life from very early age and there’s hardly anything we can do to change them. Now the critical mind thinks “Hey, I know what values are and they can change when the life situations change!” No, they don’t change - their priority order might change, but we come to that in a bit.

1.1.3 You can become an editor of my life

Coming back from our small philosophical field trip in the lush pasture of values and settling down to the reality that has shown us irq, instant messaging, online-dating, online-bookstores, online-alternate-realities and online-whatnot, let’s take a peek on what the notorious Web 2.0 enables nowadays.

Due to the recent developments in the online applications the World Wide Web has become more interactive than ever before. Long gone are the days when we were just passive recipients of information (or to be very frank, mainly porn) we are now active content creators. Content we create ranges from useful open-source software to music to literature to encyclopediae to cooking instructions to graphics to business networks to whatever one might imagine. And yes, some are even producing home made porn content, but let’s stay out of that topic for now.

The usefulness of Web 2.0 sparked an idea in me (later we will learn that I get about 5-10 ideas a day and most of them are crap), an idea worth exploring. What if I didn’t wait till the fruition of the book before I take feedback, just to incorporate it and then sending the book for another round of feedback (the usual drill)? What if I’d put my thoughts out in the open for anyone to read and comment? What if the writing process itself would be much more iterative and what if many more people could have their say along the way? No matter how crappy most of my ideas usually are, this one could really work out. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong in many of my opinions. Maybe there’s someone out there (maybe you?) who can correct me or at least provide a differing point of view that can hugely enrich the final result, i.e. the ready-made book. Or who knows, maybe there will be no ready-made book, but a forum of ideas that takes further and further heights as we go about. You produce the clay and I try to mold it to a vase.

Here’s what I want you to do:

• Read the introduction chapter
• Post your comments, ideas, disagreements, agreements, whatever comes to your mind
• Suggest what more should be taken into account in later chapters of the book
• Repeat this same process for each chapter as we go along

I promise to read all of your contribution and incorporate as much as I can on the future versions of the written and unwritten chapters. If you want, provide your name so I’ll thank you officially. I thank you already for reading this far. I should warn you, still, and make it very explicit that whatever you write to me I can ruthlessly exploit in this book without you seeing a single penny of it and conversely whatever I write is strictly governed by international copyright laws and regulations. I.e. I wish to maintain my rights to publish this book one day. The other side of the coin is, of course, that you have then written a piece of history. Especially if that is one of your values, don’t hesitate to contribute. Now you can become the editor of my life.

1.1.4 Is this how it was supposed to be?

Who was it that decided it is ok for us to be vulnerable in the World Wide Web? Is there a single person who we can all point our fingers to and who can one day be sued to the international court of law once we figure out this wasn’t such a great idea after all? Now there’s most likely a besser-wisser or two - hey, I could name a few - who are already in Wikipedia finding it out. So, I leave that spy-work for you. But really, is this how it was supposed to be?

Struggle to maintain privacy

I’m not saying we should fight against the prevalent world order where anyone can be stripped naked and published in the web for the whole world to see (metaphorically speaking). It’s a fact that we are quite powerless in the internet-era. Anyone anywhere can start campaigning against us.

Should we agree to be vulnerable?

Though it never made it to my top 5 values, I’m sure “transparency”, “openness” or “honesty” is in my top 10. Sometimes it translates to “making a fool of myself” but that’s ok. I’ve agreed to be vulnerable. In my teenage I was a bit scared what would people think in the future if they started digging my background. They would find so disturbing thoughts, pictures and mere facts of me that could prevent me of getting that dream job I always craved for. So, I made a decision: Let them dig! And I’ll do my utmost to ease their pain in the digging process.

Just google “Tomi Astikainen”

If you now google (what a wonderful neo-verb that is) my name you end up seeing my LinkedIn profile within seconds. So, pretty soon you know what I have done in my life. Another link takes you to dozens - or maybe hundreds - of pictures that are so out of context and sometimes so grotesque that you can quickly label me as an official nutcase. Third link takes you to my blog where you can instantly read what kind of emotions and thoughts I’ve had while in one particular country (unless you’re part of LTTE or government of Sri Lanka you shouldn’t be able to hold any of this against me). Of course I could even hyperlink all of this stuff here so I’d spare you of having to spy on your own, but what’s the fun of it? The gist of it is: I’m revealed and I’m fine with it.

I’m not the only one being revealed

The sad part of my (value-based) decision is that it affects not only me but also others around me. As I’ve decided to tell my story and share it with the rest of the world, did I ever ask and opinion from my friends, family or girlfriend who are exposed at the same time? No. As I said before, people are talking about you because you are a character in their story. Similarly the people important to me have partly made me who I am and because of my values they have entered my life (except for relatives of course) thus becoming integral part of the story that cannot be left out. Otherwise this would be a very shallow story. I’m not going to use any names but with a bit of thinking many of the examples in the book are quickly identifiable. Sorry about that! Luckily I have a luxury to enjoy company of people who are fine with my straightforwardness. They wouldn’t mind. Would they?

It should be noted that the intertwined writing-feedback-editing-writing process unique to this book has started already. Coming back to the very first paragraph where I mentioned that a couple of my Friends questioned the essence of this book. They merely tried to figure out why I’m writing something like this. Maybe it was a search for justification, maybe just a piece of conversation. Little did they know that their comments would have the honor of opening this whole can of worms.

Finally, to further prove my point of this being a largely universal read, at a first glance it might seem that I’m using awfully lot of examples from Finland and Sri Lanka - the two countries I’ve been exposed to a lot. It’s not that I intentionally want to tout for either one of these. It’s just that they so wonderfully portray two different realities - western and eastern way of life, a structured and chaotic society that both have their pros and cons.

In this book I will not introduce great theories. Nor will I cite the greatest minds of our era to bring justification for my claims. Instead it’s largely an essay-style story deriving from empirical experiences and reflection. If I happen to refer to previous literature it’s merely because I could identify with the authors and that they have also pondered on similar issues. Thus, there will be no academic citing amongst the text or references at the end of the book. Google if you wish.

Had enough of blabbering? Now, let’s dig deep in to the concept of values.