By Caleb


When I got to college at UW-Madison, I studied Psychology, and for a brief period bought into the strict materialistic-Newtonian viewpoint espoused there. They had constructed a universe that had no need for a God to make it run, and I thought the "scientific" viewpoint was the most practical. One day I was doing some research for an experiment I was designing and came across a book called "Explaining the Unexplained" by Hans Eysenck. He was a researcher I really respected, and I was surprised he had written a book about ESP, psychokinesis, reincarnation and other phenomena that were "unscientific". The book was about all the legitimate scientific research that has been done on these subjects, which the mainstream scientific community essentially ignores.

The book didn't really offer much theorization about God, but it did get into how quantum physics could possibly explain some of the phenomena. Reading the book caused a chain reaction for me. I realized I had always wanted to believe in something more than the materialistic humdrum of everyday 21st century American life. Even though the book wasn't focused on spirituality, it brought up a lot of questions for me, and I soon began devouring books on parapsychology, spirituality, meditation, religion, metaphysics, shamanism, and anything I thought could bring me a new piece of the puzzle. I realized at the esoteric core of every major religion, they were essentially saying the same thing. The Islamic Sufists, the Kaballists, the Zen Buddhists, and the Mystic Christians - they all believed in reincarnation, they all believed in the unity of everything, and the more I learned about quantum physics, the more it started to sound like another way of arriving at the same truths divulged by the great prophets thousands of years before particle accelerators.

I read many great books, and often after a new one, I would think "Now I've really got it figured out. Fear is irrational, God is love, and everything is great." The only problem was I didn't get much happier. Loving everyone wasn't as easy in practice as it was in theory. I'd like to think I made some progress over the 5 or 6 years when most of my teaching came from books, but if I did, I still wasn't exactly basking in the infinite love of God. It was about a year ago that I first found a real spiritual teacher. He could see things about me that I couldn't see myself. I found him through a martial arts studio I was attending. Even though there was a teacher there, there wasn't really a community, and I realized my current social network wouldn't support the type of consciousness I was trying to cultivate. I decided to check out some activities at the Center of Light, and was surprised by how similar the spiritual work they did was to what I was doing with my other teacher, who did not have a Christian background.

The more time I spent at the Center, the more the clarity, love, and integrity of the priests became apparent to me. About a month after I completed the Intro to Christian Mysticism class, I went on the bi-annual spiritual retreat. I had some great experiences there, and it was at that point when I really became devoted to this path. Shortly after retreat, my other teacher abruptly moved to a different state. I feel blessed that he was here just as long as I needed him.

So, now I've been in the novice program for a little over five months and I'm participating in lent for the first time. As a novice, I have a regular 40 hour/week job, in addition to all the spiritual work we do here. There are two other novices who live here (and two more are moving in soon), as well as two priests. The intensive spiritual work is great, but what I really didn't expect is how much fun we have here. There are times when it is really challenging too, but that's where the greatest rewards are.

A couple weeks ago, the Milwaukee novices took a trip to Minneapolis to see one of the Master Teachers of our order Mother Clare, and to visit the novices in Minneapolis. It seems like there's an instant bond with the other novices I have met in the order. It's rare to meet people in today's society who are devoting their lives to knowing God. The world makes it seem like that's a crazy thing to do. Bonding with other people who are vibrant, young, intelligent and also on this "crazy" path helps to affirm the truth of the choice we've made. They get it. They want to KNOW.

So, that's a little bit about the life of a novice. We meditate and take communion, we go to work, we eat dinner together and talk about our day and what came up for us. We work on clearing the crap out of ourselves that is blocking the energy of God from flowing through us unimpeded. We watch a lot of movies. We change and transform, becoming more functional and capable in the world while simultaneously less attached to it. We experience and give more love than we previously could. We ride rollercoasters at the Mall of America. I know, it's crazy.