I love how you ended it with the way you said you don't expect others to believe the same thing as you. It was kind of like a reverse psycology statement because it really made me think about if I believed the same thing. The only thing I can think of that will help you is to make sure that you indent your paragraphs.
Shannon Hegemann - Apr 10, 2008 4:23 PM
I love the way you ended it too! I thought that it showed how you respect others' ideas but you also want them to hear your opinions. I loved how you gave examples, personal and historical, and that added a lot to the story too. And as kubavb7 said, make sure to format it correctly!! Great writing!
Alisa Rome - Apr 10, 2008 7:48 PM
Nice job!! I like all the personal (especially the 9/11 one) and historical examples (like huskrgrl). Where you said "I mean really, people know that others don't agree with them..." try to think of something that will make your writing seen more...formal...I guess. If you say "I mean really", it sounds too casual and not fit for an essay. Know what I mean? :) That, and no spaces between paragraphs but do put tabs is the only thing that I think could be fixed. Good job!!
I love how you ended it with the way you said you don't expect others to believe the same thing as you. It was kind of like a reverse psycology statement because it really made me think about if I believed the same thing. The only thing I can think of that will help you is to make sure that you indent your paragraphs.
I love the way you ended it too! I thought that it showed how you respect others' ideas but you also want them to hear your opinions. I loved how you gave examples, personal and historical, and that added a lot to the story too. And as kubavb7 said, make sure to format it correctly!! Great writing!
Nice job!! I like all the personal (especially the 9/11 one) and historical examples (like huskrgrl). Where you said "I mean really, people know that others don't agree with them..." try to think of something that will make your writing seen more...formal...I guess. If you say "I mean really", it sounds too casual and not fit for an essay. Know what I mean? :) That, and no spaces between paragraphs but do put tabs is the only thing that I think could be fixed. Good job!!