I agree with your beleief statement, it makes perfect sense to me that we need play as well as work, I do have one question though, you said Christianity helps define other beliefs, do you see Christianity as the center of all of your beliefs?
Shannon Hegemann - Apr 9, 2008 5:27 PM
I love how you found a way to relate your belief statement to the Bible! In that way, a lot of people can relate to your belief. I was also wondering of you have any other personal experiences that really altered your life that also relates to your belief. If so, I think you should add that somewhere in your essay or belief template. Overall, great job!
Matt Rider - Apr 9, 2008 7:01 PM
Wow! This was a really good piece! Like Huskrgrl said I really liked the quote from the Bible. It really helped you expand on your belief. I also think you should add some examples from your life that explain why you believe this.
Kevin Xie - Apr 10, 2008 4:58 PM
I think that this an amazingly thought-out essay! You have references, quotes, details, examples, etc. Although there were some similar sentences, I can see that this belief means a lot to you. One thing I suggest though is to add a more life-impacting personal example than mandalas. Mandalas are nice and colorful, but mandalas aren't really life-influencing.
Geordy Smith - Apr 10, 2008 7:35 PM
Dude I love how you put the Bible quote in there!!! This is really well written. Like others though I think you could use some better word choice in places. But over all Great Job Man!!!
Kyle Horback - Apr 13, 2008 3:46 PM
Very well written statement with solid examples and a great quote. I agree with your statement 100% that we need play complimented with work. If you just work you will be overwhelmed and not get as much work done as you would have completed if you took a quick break. Well done.
I agree with your beleief statement, it makes perfect sense to me that we need play as well as work, I do have one question though, you said Christianity helps define other beliefs, do you see Christianity as the center of all of your beliefs?
I love how you found a way to relate your belief statement to the Bible! In that way, a lot of people can relate to your belief. I was also wondering of you have any other personal experiences that really altered your life that also relates to your belief. If so, I think you should add that somewhere in your essay or belief template. Overall, great job!
Wow! This was a really good piece! Like Huskrgrl said I really liked the quote from the Bible. It really helped you expand on your belief. I also think you should add some examples from your life that explain why you believe this.
I think that this an amazingly thought-out essay! You have references, quotes, details, examples, etc. Although there were some similar sentences, I can see that this belief means a lot to you. One thing I suggest though is to add a more life-impacting personal example than mandalas. Mandalas are nice and colorful, but mandalas aren't really life-influencing.
Dude I love how you put the Bible quote in there!!! This is really well written. Like others though I think you could use some better word choice in places. But over all Great Job Man!!!
Very well written statement with solid examples and a great quote. I agree with your statement 100% that we need play complimented with work. If you just work you will be overwhelmed and not get as much work done as you would have completed if you took a quick break. Well done.