I think that this is good because you have something personal to share with everybody. The time part I totally agree with. The past is the past and we are in the present.
Taylor Logan - Apr 9, 2008 2:55 PM
I like it. I think you should add in more examples but it is very solid. Good Job <3
Alena Sigman - Apr 9, 2008 4:43 PM
I like it. I think that you should be more descriptive in some parts though. It just seems kind of short.
Alisa Rome - Apr 9, 2008 5:25 PM
Nice job!! I like the part where you share personal things that people can relate to. One thing I would fix is where you said"I have an example of why you should live life to the fullest". Try to make the transition a little smother so that it leader to the next paragraph, or just take that sentence out. Also, no spaces between paragraphs for high school, remember? :) nice writing!!
Ania Sullivan - Apr 9, 2008 8:00 PM
I like it! Even though it's short, it's still really good! Maybe use another phrase instead of "live life to your fullest" sometimes so it doesn't seem too repetitive. Also, you might want to expand a little on some of these ideas.
Kyle Horback - Apr 13, 2008 10:25 AM
This is a very deep belief statement. It can connect to everyone because everyone does have a timed life. The whole "live your life to the fullest" and "You never know when your life may be over"
stuff gets kind of repetitive maybe try mixing it up and use different word choice. Overall, it is a good piece of writing that states everything you need to show the readers what you mean. Great writing!
I think that this is good because you have something personal to share with everybody. The time part I totally agree with. The past is the past and we are in the present.
I like it. I think you should add in more examples but it is very solid. Good Job <3
I like it. I think that you should be more descriptive in some parts though. It just seems kind of short.
Nice job!! I like the part where you share personal things that people can relate to. One thing I would fix is where you said"I have an example of why you should live life to the fullest". Try to make the transition a little smother so that it leader to the next paragraph, or just take that sentence out. Also, no spaces between paragraphs for high school, remember? :) nice writing!!
I like it! Even though it's short, it's still really good! Maybe use another phrase instead of "live life to your fullest" sometimes so it doesn't seem too repetitive. Also, you might want to expand a little on some of these ideas.
This is a very deep belief statement. It can connect to everyone because everyone does have a timed life. The whole "live your life to the fullest" and "You never know when your life may be over"
stuff gets kind of repetitive maybe try mixing it up and use different word choice. Overall, it is a good piece of writing that states everything you need to show the readers what you mean. Great writing!